1/25/1986 - 11/25/2002

A Mother's Tribute

Etta was born January 25, 1986. On the day she was born, the crocus bloomed. Even their brilliance after a long, dreary winter could not compare to her. That brilliance is how she lived her life. It was full of surprises, joy, laughter, color, newness and love. She was truly on loan to us who loved her for such a short time. She was a gift to us, her family and friends, but also to the large part of the world she impacted.

She seemed to have a knack for being unique and finding other's uniqueness too. Two of her friends, Allison and Molly, describer her this way: "In a school full of blondes, Etta was the one with pink hair. When all the girls were carrying around black Gap handbags, Etta was wearing a bright purse that she found at an Indian Store. It wasn't only Etta's appearance that made her one-of-a-kind. The way she lived her life was truly unique." She was a champion of the underdog, the underappreciated and the hidden beauty that surrounds us everyday.

Etta was an artist who didn't have time to mature. I look around my home and see pictures framed from elementary school hanging on the wall with what others might recognize as pieces of art. After watching her photograph on a trip to Kenya just a few months before her death, I observed what she saw as beauty and the world.

On our trip to Kenya, she was in charge of the photos. Her pictures are of close-ups of Rhinos eyes, chickens in alleyways, flowers, flowers and more flowers, graffiti, children, a teenage Massai girl with her children and cows roaming through a posh resort. Our family was in Kenya for three weeks and only a handful of photos exist to prove we were there. Nature and culture were her interest.

Later, while in Bolivia, this same eye of hers captured beautiful Indian women with their wares, flowers blooming against rusty barbed-wire, leaves to cover the whole frame of the picture, waterfalls, mountains and trees. Etta was drawn to humanity and nature like a baby to mother's milk. I had to beg her to take pictures of herself with her Bolivian family, just so I knew she wasn't living on the street.

Etta decided to be an exchange student in ninth grade. It never seemed to be a question for her. When the opportunity arose in her sophomore year to go to Bolivia, she didn't hesitate. Though it wasn't originally the country of her choice, Etta settled in quickly with her exchange family, the Paz's. Soon she was making fast friends with people in Montero and the other exchange students. She appreciated being recognized within a week or so of walking down the street.

Her two comrades, Sarah and Tim, were to become dear to her. Tim, she described as witty and fun to be with. Sarah became her souls companion and friend, or as she wrote in her journal, "her Samba" (which only she and Sarah know the meaning). There were frustrations and periods of homesickness, but with her magnanimous personality and positive attitude, Etta made everyday an adventure.

On her final adventure, she was well on her way to loving Bolivia and looking forward to the year ahead as an adventure of a lifetime. She and her fellow students were taking a trip that would take them to see amazing countryside. Etta, Sarah, Pramod (another exchange student from Santa Cruz) and three American volunteer teachers, Kris, Matt and Adam left on a journey that would take them from Santa Cruz to Tarijo (a 25 hour bus ride), then to Tapiza, to Potosi, to Sucre and then to Cochabamba. They found each other to be delightful traveling companions as they visited vineyards, went to a festival, played, hiked and then swam in a beautiful waterfall.

The night of their third day, they began the seven-hour bus ride to Tapiza. They laughed and talked a great deal of the night. Etta and Sarah struggled to stay warm in the coolness of the night and to get comfortable in the buses cramped spaces. They had tried lying on the back of the seat of the bus, only to be bounced to the floor during a cruise over one of the many large bumps in the road. They laughed…and were laughed at.

They finally settled back into the other seat and snuggled together holding each other with arms wrapped around the other for warmth. They even teased the four boys that they should give up their inhibitions and try this comfortable position, as it was undoubtedly the warmest and most comfortable way to sleep. The young men didn't, but Etta and Sarah did and soon fell fast asleep.

At 3:00 a.m., the driver also fell asleep and careened over the edge of the beautiful Bolivian mountain. Everyone was thrown from the bus except the four young American men. Etta and Sarah were not far apart on the mountainside under the full moon in the night sky. Etta died instantly.

She had gone from the loving embrace of her friend (her "samba") to her death. Sarah was badly injured. The young men suffered only minor injuries and were instrumental in saving Sarah's life and assisting the others. Maybe Etta was helping too. Twenty-one people were on the bus, and seven perished.

Etta's great adventure here on earth was over, but her impact seems to be continuing. We have the sense that she is pulling a few strings. Since her death, many wonderful things have occurred. Instead of flowers at her memorial service, donations were made to Heifer International. The donations were astounding. Etta's friends got together on Valentine's Day and chose: one heifer, one water buffalo, two llamas, two goats, one sheep, two pigs, one group of tree saplings, two trios of rabbits, one hive of honeybees and three flocks of chicks to send to needy families that Heifer is working with.

Money has gone to Heifer Foundation to establish an animal endowment for Bolivia. Other donations were made directly to Heifer International in Etta's name by friends and loved ones. Even Etta's driving instructor donated her $250 driving school fee, since she didn't get to use her license. Through her death, many children will be fed either through the animals they will raise, or through the nutrition center her Bolivian friends erected in her honor. Countless people will feel and be touched by Etta's heart.

It is fitting that animals are being given in Etta's honor, since she loved animals so much. When she was eight-years-old, Etta received a horse named Star. Star was a difficult creature, but one that only someone like Etta could feel close to. Etta was the only human that Star liked, and only tolerated me as her caretaker.

While Etta was in Bolivia, Star's health began to fail and the end was imminently clear. I e-mailed Etta about it. While she was sad, she said she completely understood what had to be done. Star was put down less than 24 hours before Etta died.

Three days after Etta passed away, I had a vision of Etta walking toward Star in the Bolivian mountains, smiling and glad to see her horse. Just as she was when she died, Etta was on her way through the mountains, but riding horseback. I hope that she got to finish her journey, and maybe even better, with her horse. Later Kris, one of the young men on the bus with Etta, sent me a picture of the mountains where the accident occurred. They were the same mountains from my vision.

Like the crocus that bloom in early spring to chase away the dreary winter and bring such delight, Etta came into this world and shared her brilliance. Not brilliance in the sense of intellect, but in the sense of joy and delight she gave us. The brilliance of her glow - those tiny fragments of light touched many and we were blessed - those of us fortunate enough to have been in that light shower. She glowed, she sparkled and she was brilliant. I think she will keep brilliantly shining through us all and we have to be determined to let it.

--Pennye Nixon-West

View the Book
Search the Book